Friday, December 7, 2018

Quote Of The Day



magazine cover from Pinterest

Half of our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. ~ Will Rogers

Thursday, December 6, 2018

Grrrsday


Monday, December 3, 2018

Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back

He just pee'd down the heating register in the front room.

Sunday, December 2, 2018

No Rest For The Wicked


Last night was my last in Florida, and I was called at the hotel by my region.  They need me to deploy for the tornado response.  Unfortunately for their plans, when I got home there was a summons to jury duty waiting for me.

(And in other news, while I was gone Little Man figured out how to open the gate to get to the basement where the kitty litter boxes are).

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Lost In Translation

The room is full of female volunteers, all over 60.  Enter an ebullient 20-something volunteer from the Puerto Rican chapter.

Diego*:  We had such a good time at karaoke last night!  You should have been there.  Carole* (points at a nurse sitting at one of the tables) was making all the young people ashamed!

Me:  Ah...that's kind of a backhanded remark, there, chum.

Diego*: No, I am complimenting her, she sings so well! The young people were amazed!

Me:  (gently) You realize you just called her old.

There is a pause while this sinks in.

Diego*:  No habla ingles.

Saturday, November 24, 2018

All Ahead Flank


One of my fellow volunteers claims to be a former Navy Seal*. We had some vehicles to pick up and ferry back across the causeway and I asked him to act as navigator.

He got us lost.

(*and I'm a French lingerie model).

Friday, November 23, 2018

Capitalism


Caseworker:  There's a lady who says she's come to pick up her check for $2,200,000.00 from the SBA.

Job Director:  I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that's not happening.

Thursday, November 22, 2018

It's Deja Vu All Over Again



I will be spending Thanksgiving Day conducting a vehicle inventory.



Wednesday, November 14, 2018

Back In The Saddle


We're supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow tomorrow, but I'm headed back south (either Tallahassee or Panama City).  Timing is everything.

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Picky, Picky, Picky


 The spousal unit has just gotten out the stand mixer.

Me:  Are you going to make pumpkin bread?

He:  How did you know?

Me:  We've been married for thirty-three years.

He:  Thirty-five.

Sunday, November 11, 2018

"Some Very Interesting Events"



In a navy transport, therefore, U.S.S. Henderson, the 5th Regiment of Marines embarked for France in June, 1917, with the first armed American forces.  The 6th Marines followed...

...About 30,000 Marines were sent to France, some 14,000 of these were replacements to maintain the two regiments of the 4th Brigade. A brigade musters some 7,500 officers and men; this brigade took part in some very interesting events. ~ Capt. John W. Thomason

Saturday, November 10, 2018

The Cloak of Invisibility


Poor ol' fat yella bastard thinks he is hiding from the puppy.

Caturday!


Thursday, November 8, 2018

Irony

The man in Colorado who refused to bake a cake for a gay couple now has a gay governor.

EDITED TO ADD:  And this kid was just elected Senator.

Monday, November 5, 2018

Lime Flower Tea For Everyone. Please.

image from The Graphics Fairy
"To half an ounce of lime-flowers, placed in a tea-pot or jug, pour a pint of boiling water, and when the infusion has stood for ten minutes, sweeten with honey or sugar, and drink the tea hot, to assuage the pains in the stomach and chest, arising from indigestion. This beverage may also be successfully administered in attacks of hysteria." ~ old cookbook.

Saturday, November 3, 2018

Caturday!


Funny how I had forgotten that a puppy is a cylindrical furry object with needle-sharp teeth on one end and a teeny tiny bladder on the other.

Wednesday, October 31, 2018

"They reminded me of the chalk outlines detectives draw around a dead body."


Matt  is a volunteer from our region. 

...every one of the buildings that housed and served what must have been a beautiful place pre-Hurricane Michael, is severely damaged or...just gone. Erased.  Deleted from the face of the earth.

Totally and absolutely gone. ~ Matt Swaney



Progress



Batdog wasn't quite sure about the new family member yesterday...


But he seems to be adjusting (imitation is the sincerest form of flattery).

Monday, October 29, 2018

Stand By For Heavy Seas



He's on his way home with our new puppy.


Reserve Cat can hardly wait.