Saturday, August 1, 2015

Caturday!


Friday, July 31, 2015

Quote Of The Day




Image from Pinterest

...  Lust
Is perjured, murderous, bloody, full of blame,
Savage, extreme, rude, cruel, not to trust,
Enjoy'd no sooner but despised straight,
Past reason hunted, and no sooner had
Past reason hated, as a swallow'd bait
On purpose laid to make the taker mad. ~ W. Shakespeare

Thursday, July 30, 2015

Grrrsday


Monday, July 27, 2015

He Who Fights And Runs Away


Leaves his owners with a $200 vet bill.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Somebody Up There Is Testing Me

The Health Department will have a booth at the Cultural Fest this weekend, and I am scheduled to do a presentation on Emergency Preparedness at 2:30.

Right after the local police department gives a presentation on the theory and practice of traffic stops.  To an audience that will be 75% African American.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

I Know The Feeling


On the plus side, I now have lovely matching left and right hand splints.

Sunday, July 19, 2015

Well, That Explains Everything



Me:  What did you do to your forehead?

He:  I was picking up a lawnmower.

Me:  Of course.

He:  It was a riding mower.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

20-Year-Olds are Easy


Due to a humiliating and entirely preventable incident with a household fixture last night, when I walk through the interns’ room this morning my left hand is enclosed in a splint and a sling.

Intern #1:  Wow…what happened to your hand?

Me:  You know that lesbian bar on Main Street, the one about half a block north of the old courthouse?

Intern #1 (her eyes getting big and round):  Yes….

Me:  Well, it had nothing to do with it.

There is a brief pause while this sinks in.  Sean* cracks up.

Intern #1:  You are so mean.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Caturday!


Friday, July 10, 2015

Quote of the Day

Photo:  Jim Purbrick via Flickr

A child educated only at school is an uneducated child. ~ George Santayana

Thursday, July 9, 2015

But You Can't Choose Your Relatives

We spent the holiday weekend at my older sister's rather imposing residence, in company with other family members including my niece Elizabeth*.  It's common knowledge that her husband has been a little… wary… of the spousal unit ever since he had The Talk with Patrick* at their wedding.

Oldest sister:  Where's Patrick*?

Elizabeth*:  He's taking a nap.

Youngest sister (teasingly):  We should have Brian go wake him up, wearing his mean face.

Me:  How is his mean face any different from his every day face?

(“If you ever make her cry, I will track you down and kill you like a dog,” which is what he says to every young man reckless enough to marry into our families).

Friday, July 3, 2015

Happy 4th of July


We are visitin’ kin this weekend.  See you Monday.

Quote of the Day


When the Know-Nothings get control, it [the Declaration] will read “All men are created equal – except Negroes, foreigners and Catholics.”  When it comes to this, I should prefer emigrating to some country where they make no pretense of loving liberty – to Russia , for instance – where despotism can be taken pure without the alloy of hypocrisy. ~ A. Lincoln.

Thursday, July 2, 2015

Grrrsday


Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Knitting - A "Block" Jumper from 1950


From the Australian Home Journal, one of the 1950 editions that’s available on archive.org.  If you are not able to get a large enough copy off this jpg, it’s also available on my flickr account.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Caturday!


Friday, June 26, 2015

Quote of the Day


The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others.  But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no god.  It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.  ~ Thomas Jefferson

Thursday, June 25, 2015

This Is A True Statement, Unfortunately


About mid-afternoon, a terrific explosion shook downtown and rattled our building.  Rattled a lot of people, too – I looked out the window to the courthouse and all these deputies came boiling out.  Turned out a semi blew a tire, but the buildings on either side of the street compressed the blast waves and made it sound like a bomb.  Trudy* came into my office.

She:  Omygawd that scared me.  Weren’t you scared?

Me:  I’m too dumb to be scared.

Sunday, June 21, 2015

Overheard At The Conference

 This (very short) conversation took place in the hotel breakfast room Thursday morning at the state conference.

He:  So the media's calling it a "hate crime" (with air quotes).  When *they* kill *us* how come the media never calls it a hate crime?

She:  Refresh my memory...when was the last time a black kid walked into a white church and shot nine people?