Lost In Translation

The room is full of female volunteers, all over 60.  Enter an ebullient 20-something volunteer from the Puerto Rican chapter.

Diego*:  We had such a good time at karaoke last night!  You should have been there.  Carole* (points at a nurse sitting at one of the tables) was making all the young people ashamed!

Me:  Ah...that's kind of a backhanded remark, there, chum.

Diego*: No, I am complimenting her, she sings so well! The young people were amazed!

Me:  (gently) You realize you just called her old.

There is a pause while this sinks in.

Diego*:  No habla ingles.

All Ahead Flank

One of my fellow volunteers claims to be a former Navy Seal*. We had some vehicles to pick up and ferry back across the causeway and I asked him to act as navigator.

He got us lost.

(*and I'm a French lingerie model).

Capitalism

Caseworker:  There's a lady who says she's come to pick up her check for $2,200,000.00 from the SBA.

Job Director:  I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that's not happening.

It's Deja Vu All Over Again

I will be spending Thanksgiving Day conducting a vehicle inventory.

I'm sensing a trend, here.

Back In The Saddle

We're supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow tomorrow, but I'm headed back south (either Tallahassee or Panama City).  Timing is everything.

Picky, Picky, Picky

image from the Graphics Fairy

 The spousal unit has just gotten out the stand mixer.

Me:  Are you going to make pumpkin bread?

He:  How did you know?

Me:  We've been married for thirty-three years.

He:  Thirty-five.

Reunion

Three-quarters of a century later, he finally gets to say "thank you."

"Some Very Interesting Events"

In a navy transport, therefore, U.S.S. Henderson, the 5th Regiment of Marines embarked for France in June, 1917, with the first armed American forces.  The 6th Marines followed...

...About 30,000 Marines were sent to France, some 14,000 of these were replacements to maintain the two regiments of the 4th Brigade. A brigade musters some 7,500 officers and men; this brigade took part in some very interesting events. ~ Capt. John W. Thomason

The Cloak of Invisibility

Poor ol' fat yella bastard thinks he is hiding from the puppy.

Caturday!

Irony

The man in Colorado who refused to bake a cake for a gay couple now has a gay governor.

EDITED TO ADD:  And this kid was just elected Senator.

Lime Flower Tea For Everyone. Please.

image from The Graphics Fairy

"To half an ounce of lime-flowers, placed in a tea-pot or jug, pour a pint of boiling water, and when the infusion has stood for ten minutes, sweeten with honey or sugar, and drink the tea hot, to assuage the pains in the stomach and chest, arising from indigestion. This beverage may also be successfully administered in attacks of hysteria." ~ old cookbook.

Caturday!

Funny how I had forgotten that a puppy is a cylindrical furry object with needle-sharp teeth on one end and a teeny tiny bladder on the other.