There is an urban myth to the effect that this phrase is the single most common prelude to a 911 call. I sometimes think that there is a culinary equivalent -- somebody reaches into a cupboard and pulls out something, usually some type of soup, and then tries to demonstrate that this really will work, honest. Many of these people are employed by major food companies but others (like the person who developed the pastrami egg roll recipe I recently ran across) have no such excuse.
There is a weird fascination to these recipes that compels an otherwise sane person to try them. And, oddly enough, most of them involve a slow cooker.
(warning: do not try these at home. Actually, do try them, and then let me know how they turn out, because I certainly can’t get away with serving any of them to the spousal unit. He firmly believes that life in this vale of tears would be much more bearable if I would limit myself to cooking only those dishes his mother used to make).
Tomato Soup Chicken
1 package frozen chicken pieces
1 can tomato soup
“Dump one package of frozen chicken pieces into a crockpot. Add one can of tomato soup. Cook on high for 6 ½ hours.”
Awesome Slow Cooker Pot Roast
2 (10.75 oz) cans of cream of mushroom soup
1 (1 ounce) package of dried onion soup mix
1 ¼ cups water
5 ½ lb pot roast
“In the slow cooker, mix cream of mushroom soup, dry onion soup mix and water. Place pot roast in slow cooker and coat with soup mixture. Cook on High setting for 3 to 4 hours, or on Low setting for 8 to 9 hours.”
1 bottle Russian dressing (16 oz)
1 envelope onion soup mix
1 jar apricot preserves (10 oz)
4 –6 pieces chicken
seasoned salt and pepper to taste
“Combine Russian dressing, apricot preserves and onion soup mix in bowl and pour into the crockpot. Sprinkle the chicken with seasoned salt and pepper. Place chicken, skin side down, in slow cooker. Cook on LOW for 6 to 8 hours (HIGH 3 to four hours).”
I believe the above recipe is also called Chicken Awful-Awful. If anyone has a personal favorite candidate for Recipe Least Likely To Succeed, send it to me, please. I promise to post the worst ones.