Eine Kleine Nachtmusik

(Steinlein poster reprint from Dover).

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

He
Me
Canus Magnus
Canus Parvus
Felis Malefica

Scene: the master bedroom of a small bungalow. Stage left is a window. Stage right is the door to the hall. A bed is placed against the wall center stage, and a bedside table (with an antique glass-globed lamp, telephone, books, etc) is fitted into the very narrow space between the bed and the window.

Canus Magnus lies asleep on the floor at the foot of the bed. Canus Parvus is curled up snugly under the window, paws twitching in pursuit of dream bunnies. Two blanket-swaddled forms occupy the bed. As a vagrant moonbeam teases its way under the drawn shade, a soft snore can be heard. It is well past midnight.

Enter Malefica from stage right. She tiptoes across the carpet until she is about two feet from the larger dog.

Malefica (whispers): Mrowr. (There is no reaction).

Malefica (a little more loudly): Mrowr! (Still nothing. She places herself directly in front of the big dog’s ear).

Malefica: MERWOUWWRRR!

She scoots under the bed a split second before Magnus leaps to his feet and lunges for her. As his one hundred and twenty pound frame slams into the bed-stead, the headboard bounces violently off the wall and knocks against the bedside table.

He (shooting bolt upright from deep REM sleep as the lamp—a present from His mother—topples over onto the telephone): What the HELL?!?

Magnus, his massive head wedged firmly under the end of the bed-stead, begins barking in rage and frustration. Parvus awakes and adds her piercing falsetto yelp to the din. Malefica strolls out from under the far side and hops up on top of the bed where she sits down next to Me and surveys her handiwork with quiet satisfaction.

Me (softly but with great depth of feeling): You cow.