Notes From A Weekend

Matthew 13:57


When I arrived at my sister's house, I was met by her oldest son, who looked past me and, seeing that I was alone, demanded in aggrieved tones, "Where is your big man?"

At Least He Wasn't In Cognito


My sister's younger son had finished his bath and was curled up on the sofa in such a way that he could not be seen.

Brother in Law:  Where's Andy*?
Me:  He's in defilade.
Andy*:  No I'm not!  I'm in my underwear!

Why Not?  Everyone Else Seems To Be Running


Youngest sister:  Some of the Republican candidates are nuts.  Just nuts.  Like that guy RuPaul.
Me:  Who?
Youngest sister:  You know, the crazy one.  RuPaul.  The one with the son who's in Congress, too.

They Grow Up So Fast


We were in the car and my sister had given my niece her smartphone to play with, to keep her quiet.  At four years old this child cannot pronounce the letter R but is already ten times as tech-savvy as I will ever be.

Mousie*:  Mamma, you got lots of pictures in your cam'wa.
Youngest sister:  Yes, dear.  Daddy needs to download them for me.

There are several minutes of ominous silence from the back seat.

Me:  Mousie*, what are you doing?
Mousie (tersely):  Deleting.