I was having sinus problems today and succumbed to a coughing/sneezing/hacking attack that lasted a couple of minutes.
Alert Fellow Health Department Employee: (eagerly) Should I get out the epi pen?
AFHDE: are you sure?
Me: Positive. And no CPR, either.
AFHDE: Maybe just chest compressions?
Me: Over my dead body.
AFHDE: That works!