Friday, January 23, 2009

Eine Kleine Nachtmusik

(Steinlein poster reprint from Dover).


Canus Magnus
Canus Parvus
Felis Malefica

Scene: the master bedroom of a small bungalow. Stage left is a window. Stage right is the door to the hall. A bed is placed against the wall center stage, and a bedside table (with an antique glass-globed lamp, telephone, books, etc) is fitted into the very narrow space between the bed and the window.

Canus Magnus lies asleep on the floor at the foot of the bed. Canus Parvus is curled up snugly under the window, paws twitching in pursuit of dream bunnies. Two blanket-swaddled forms occupy the bed. As a vagrant moonbeam teases its way under the drawn shade, a soft snore can be heard. It is well past midnight.

Enter Malefica from stage right. She tiptoes across the carpet until she is about two feet from the larger dog.

Malefica (whispers): Mrowr. (There is no reaction).

Malefica (a little more loudly): Mrowr! (Still nothing. She places herself directly in front of the big dog’s ear).


She scoots under the bed a split second before Magnus leaps to his feet and lunges for her. As his one hundred and twenty pound frame slams into the bed-stead, the headboard bounces violently off the wall and knocks against the bedside table.

He (shooting bolt upright from deep REM sleep as the lamp—a present from His mother—topples over onto the telephone):
What the HELL?!?

Magnus, his massive head wedged firmly under the end of the bed-stead, begins barking in rage and frustration. Parvus awakes and adds her piercing falsetto yelp to the din. Malefica strolls out from under the far side and hops up on top of the bed where she sits down next to Me and surveys her handiwork with quiet satisfaction.

Me (softly but with great depth of feeling): You cow.


Anonymous said...

I think the playwrite meant for you to say "Way to go! That lamp is not my taste anyway"

Amy said...

It sounds like what goes on in my house...

Leti said...

Hi! please, can u send me an email to Need to know your email for my blog. (authorizaton)
Thanks thanks thanks!!!

RavenzTarot said...

I was reading your blog, one I enjoy very very much, but this ..this was just too much. I had set my cuppa tea beside me on my desk and looked around to make sure the boss was gone and jumped on the net. Thinking to sneak a few moments of whats up in the blogs. I clicked on you in an instant... i was hooked. I read the first line coughed and hid a smile behind my cup..only to get choke and spew tea from my nose all over my monitor as I got further in the story and poor magnus fate is sealed......

I LOVE this Blog......

Shay said...

Thanks -- I will never run out of blog material as long as That Cat is with us...she truly is a piece of work.

Lili said...

ROFLMAO!!! This is hilarious! And we know precisely what it really sounded like. There are 5 cats here. No dogs, but the cats provide plenty and constant entertainment.

Shay said...

One always wonders how dainty little creatures who weigh less than ten pounds can make SO MUCH NOISE! It's the thunder of kitty- paws that gets to me.